To Dr. Fox,

I write this to you around one year since my first therapy session with you. One month into college and I had already cracked: longing for the days of familiarity of New Jersey and Millburn High School. I felt like a balloon that kept filling and filling with all these emotions and thoughts and was ready to explode. I can vividly remember walking to class feeling anxious just by passing by people, thinking they were all judging. That’s how it was in the beginning; judging myself and thinking the whole world was too. The depression and anxiety had started.

What made me go to you was the realization that the only way to not let this balloon pop is to deflate it: empty out all these thoughts and emotions I had in this scary and new environment.

I came to Chapman Psychological Services as a scared and lonely freshman. Sitting in that chair and filling out the online intake papers, I felt my heart beating as these abstract issues in my head became concrete and real on a computer screen. Then, the first session came and it was hard to open up at first. You kept patience as I slowly began to be more and more comfortable unraveling my insecurities and fears. You just always knew what the right thing to say was. Every session got easier and easier to talk because I knew I could trust you with my words and you would listen.

I’m here at Chapman for my sophomore year and I constantly look back at that person I was one year ago at this time and it’s someone I don’t recognize. This type of transformation wasn’t possible with your understanding, your humor, your ability to listen and also making yourself heard. In a world where I felt everyone, including myself ,was judging me, you didn’t and it made me realize the world is not out to judge me. To be able to go to you when things got rough and I needed to get it all off my chest or when things were great and I needed someone that could understand how important the good times are, is a luxury I can’t believe I have. The sessions we had from September all the way to May saved me from myself and my internal monologue and my self doubt and my anxieties of college life.

Now, I walk around eager. Eager to run into someone I know or maybe eager to see someone with a Red Sox shirt on. I walk around now with confidence with eyes always looking to engage. I noticed this specific change in me and it was there I realized the power of therapy.

What I learned from you that I applied to my life makes me wish can happen with everyone. I wish everyone could see the amazing benefits of a therapist, whether it’s the best time of their life or at their lowest point. You were a helping hand and I want everyone to experience that too in some way, shape, or from. I recognize it may be an uphill battle to kill the stigma of therapy, but I think one day we’ll be able to kill that wretched stigma. While some will see it as “not for them”, I see it as a necessity. Therapy isn’t just for the disturbed or crazy.

This uphill battle begins with people owning up to their mental health the way I did. I started last year thinking all was fine. It’s much easier to deny anything is wrong with us than to admit it to ourselves, but the first step to getting help is admitting there is a problem. I hate the thought that there are people just like I was last year that don’t get the change they need. 1 in 5 college students have depression or anxiety because of sleep or technology or social media or just plain insecurities and I can promise that 20% of college students in American are not seeking therapy.

No one can do this alone.

It’s easier to go things solo, but you prove how beautiful it can be to open up to people. I used to keep things in: my emotions, my fears, my morals, but having that first person who hears you and understands makes so much easier to open up to others and be more vocal about mental health.

You’ve not only taught how to love myself, but you’ve taught me a mindset. A mindset I pray every person in this country can get behind as well.

Sincerely,

Brendan Weissman